My employment with Substantial lasted exactly 57 days.
I've been fired before. But this is the first time that I've been fired that I was actually at peace with the decision. Saturday night, I had a very vivid dream that I was going to be let go from my job, and I was actually okay with the decision. I came home, told my wife, brushed myself off, and kept on moving. When I woke up, I felt this weird calm come over me, as if I knew everything was going to be okay.
When I went into the office this morning, it was dark. Dark because it's turning fall, and thus getting light later, but there was an eeriness that seemed to settle over my workspace. My boss wouldn't look me in the eye, and I instantly knew. I started collecting all of my personal belongings long before I was brought into the conference room, and walked out of the office shortly thereafter. It happened exactly the way I saw it in my dream.
Why didn't it work out? There are a number of reasons, on both sides, none of which I'm going to go into here. What matters is that I got knocked down. My ego is bruised, my confidence is a little shaken, and quite frankly, I'm a little embarrassed. This was easily the biggest job of my career, and it's hard to not feel like I failed at it. The reality is, I didn't fail at it; I just wasn't ready for it. Regardless, I got knocked down, but I'm not going to stay down. I'm not going to let this setback hold me back from where I'm trying to go. I took five minutes to be pissed off, told my wife, brushed myself off, and I'm going to keep on moving.
When I got home, I wanted to put all of this into perspective, to give myself a foundation to move forward. And I found this quote, by psychologist Og Mandino:
My time will come. I haven't even begun to hit the limits of what I can do.